Everyone talks about the ‘terrible twos’ but what everyone fails to mention is the dreaded terrible ones. Just when your in the midst of celebrating that you have survived a year and your quite smug that it gets a little easier now until they hit two – bang – come the tantrums and strops you won’t know what has hit you.
How can a little teeny person cause so much havoc at 12 months old you ask?
They have learnt they have some strength now, sorry I shall rephrase that, they have discovered they have A LOT OF STRENGTH, and every time you try to put them in their car seat, they will immediately grab onto the sides and thrust themselves out of it in mad protest. You will have to learn very quickly negotiation skills – my advice have a few interesting objects to hand – once you have them distracted with these interesting new objects, you have a few seconds to get them buckled up. By this stage you are probably breaking a sweat.
Nappy changes. I am nearly weeping at this one. Most babies are moving around when they hit 1 years old and life is far too busy and important to be stopping for nappy changes. Once that nappy is off them, they are flipping over and trying to crawl away regardless of how much poo or piss is flying everywhere. Nappy changes are really a two man job these days, you will need someone to pin (sorry hold) them down and another to change the nappy. If your on your own, good luck…..
Sleep. If your baby has been a great napper up until now this shall change. Like I mentioned, your little ones newly discovered mobility means they can’t be using up valuable time especially for sleeping and they will now be so proficient in the 10 minute power nap that before you have finished boiling your cuppa, and sitting down for a second, your little munchkin will be up and ready and full of beans for round 3. (Have you poured yourself a stiff drink yet!)
Speed. Yes they have the speed of a ninja. Turn your eyes away from them for a second and they will have covered a lot of square inches, pulled the cats tail, tossed the plant and deposited themselves back on their bum looking up at you with that cute guilty grin, you know the one as if to say nope your imaginging it mummy. You’ve heard people say it to you but it went in one ear and out the other but really – you do need eyes in the back of your head – a third eye on the forehead and an emergency siren when they attempt to move.
Babies love to put things in their mouth, like literally everything – apart from their dinner of course – so you will need to make sure bottles, liquids, tablets, handbags, anything moveable is all locked away up high in a cupboard, actually sod that, they can climb too, maybe be better putting the entire contents of your house in the loft. While we are on the subject of baby proofing your home, bubble wrap every sharp corner, bath taps, the dogs teeth……you get the picture.
Tantrums. Your tiny mini me is quite capable of near combustion with frustration at times. They want to be able to do more than they are capable off just now and get very frustrated when their little selves can’t quite master what their active minds are willing them to do.
That brings me onto my next point. As the weeks go on they are starting to get up to mischief to try and provoke a reaction from you. With their ever growing independence you have probably found the majority of your daily vocabulary is ‘NO’. This spurs them on, they get smart very quickly and know what pushes your buttons. With their cheeky little grins whilst swinging from the light you will literally age 20 years in the next few weeks whilst they begin testing boundaries. How many times have you rescued your mobile phone from their tight grip (or the toilet), told them that your hair is not for pulling and that they cannot fling objects across the room at lightening speed. On the plus side, your little tiny person is working out their attention-getting repertoire and will babble away and find their own unique way to let you know what he thinks, wants and needs making it a little easier and quicker to establish what it is they are wanting you to do for them.
Emotions. In milliseconds your baby will switch from giggling and smiling to crying and screaming and back again so quickly that you won’t be able to keep up with the mood swings. They will blow kisses, clap a lot, they will even start crying when they see someone else crying. They are sucking everything up like sponges and repeating your actions so it’s maybe best to try and refrain from calling your mother-in-law a witch or the next door neighbour an ass – just incase.
These are just a few of the antics you can look forward to in the coming months. I wouldn’t want to scare you all any more than I have. Not yet anyway…..
